|Tuesday, May 29th, 2007|
So I'm looking at my sister's myspace and I come across these pictures of her and my mother....
|Saturday, May 5th, 2007|
Christina Aguilera tonight.... jealous??
Oh yeah... did I mention The Pussycat Dolls are opening???
heh... and Danity Kane... "I love you foreeeeeeeeeeveeeeeer"
|Tuesday, May 1st, 2007|
Course Title Grade
CGS2060 - 24 COMP LIT WEBBASED A
DAA1100 - 01 BEGIN CONTEM DANCE I A
MUH3053 - 01 AMERICAN ROOTS MUSIC A
PSB2000 - 08 INTRO BRAIN & BEHAVR A
THE3214 - 02 WORLD THE HIST II B
THE4990 - 01 THEATRE FORUM S
TPA2201 - 04 COSTUME TECH LAB A
· CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE ON THE DEAN'S LIST
|Wednesday, April 11th, 2007|
I give up.
For real this time.
I'm throwing in the towel.
I know that no matter what happens, this is the best decision for me at this point.
I've stopped answering my phone when he calls (which is rare enough anyway).
I'm not calling back.
This is it. It's over.
|Sunday, April 1st, 2007|
I'm so sick of this shit.
I'm sick of falling for people that just like the attention and so they never become anything more than just friends but they just keep the possibility open. There is no possibility. I should have known that from the beginning... I mean I did... I always do. But I like to live in this fantasy world where maybe having faith in people will surprise me.
I'm not like other people. This sounds so emo high school but it's the truth. I find myself hanging out with people and feeling like I should be having a good time because it's obvious that everybody else is.... but I'm not. I find myself drinking and smoking to have a good time but then it just results badly.
He's all I think about. That's ridiculous. It's crazy and makes me sound like a crazy person. But I'm distracted from life because he's all I think about. He's made it clear that he doesn't want anything with me... I've made it clear that I want everything from him.
I'm not a dating person. People don't date me. At least... not people that I want to date. I'm the single roommate and I always will be. I don't want hook ups... I don't want one night stands. I want a relationship... a REAL substantial relationship with a person that I'm actually interested in.
The problem now lies in the fact that I don't want to like anybody else right now. I mean I can't like anybody else right now.... and how do I meet guys... I mean the type of guys that I want to date. I won't find those guys at the club. I don't want a club boy. I don't want a theatre boy.... I don't want any boy except for him.
I'm too intense.
|Thursday, March 22nd, 2007|
Dear god, please kill me. Love Elliott.
Ya see... here's the thing. I've been up all night studying and in a little bit I gotta go take this test and then after that I've gotta meet with my advisor and then after that i have class until 5 and then after that i've got to go to chorus line rehearsal.
It's only 8 and I already feel like crying. FUCK! Today is going to be a ridiculous day.
|Wednesday, February 21st, 2007|
It's nice to know every once in awhile that you are not the only person who thinks the things you do.
Yay for late night roommate talks... followed by late night roommate binges... yay for peanut butter girl scout cookies (which were hidden like precious treasure) sandwiched together with even more peanut butter with milk... and doritos.
Something is fishy in the world.
It's not the four of us.
|Thursday, February 15th, 2007|
"You always ask for support about some dumbass that treats you like shit, bring me something new to work with."
Truer words have never been spoken.
|Wednesday, February 14th, 2007|
|Another letter... because it's V-Day... and I'm bitchy
Dear Ugly People,
Don't poke me on facebook... ESPECIALLY not on Valentine's Day... like you're gonna take advantage of my heightened state of emotions or some shit. I'm not ugly. You are. Don't waste my time. You know if you're ugly. I mean... you should know. Otherwise, you're just oblivious to life.
The majority of the people using you today, will be using you because they don't have something/someone better to do on Valentine's Day. So this pretty V-Day layout deal... not such a great idea.
|Tuesday, February 13th, 2007|
You know... I try REALLY hard to have faith in people. I always have.
Having faith in people has turned me into an easy target. I'm easy to take advantage of. I always have been and it seems I always will be, because I never seem to learn my lesson.
I am constantly dissapointed and baffled by people. I don't understand why people lie. I don't understand why people use other people. I don't understand why people manipulate other people. EVERYBODY has feelings and emotions... what do you get out of fucking with them?
|Sunday, February 11th, 2007|
|Thursday, February 8th, 2007|
Woah... talk about out of left field.
This past week has been absolutely ridiculous... but I'm beginning to think there may be a happy ending.
Seriously though.... me?
Oh... and apparently some people think I sleep around. That's funny... but untrue.
Wait... let's go back to that happy ending... seriously... that would be REALLY nice.
|Sunday, February 4th, 2007|
I'm really talented at setting myself up.
|Wednesday, January 31st, 2007|
Let's hear it for the boy's!
|Friday, January 26th, 2007|
So I'm feeling a resurgence of LJ right now and I'm kind of excited by it.
|Thursday, January 25th, 2007|
|Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007|
hm... I hardly write in this thing anymore... however... it's 2AM and I'm full of emotions so I might as well write.
I haven't really had time to stop and breathe recently.
Right now Night of the Iguana is still going on at Tallahassee Little Theatre. I'm just a cabana boy and it's my job to be sexy. And me being sexy is difficult enough but then throw in the fact that the other 2 cabana boys are gorgeous (don't even get me started on that) and I just feel like shit all the time. I feel like the random 3rd wheel that obviously doesn't belong. I'm just ready for that one to be over. Besides... I'm not Mexican and I don't speak spanish very well. Which sort of leads me to my next thing...
Last week against my better judgement I decided to audition for A Chorus Line at Tallahassee Community College. Me... the most infamous non-dancer in the history of OYT and a lot of other places. I figured I haven't been in a musical since Urinetown the summer of 05 so I might as well try. Somehow I magically got cast. My dance audition was HORRIBLE of course... but apparently my readings and vocal auditions were so good that it didn't matter. The choroegrapher apparently believes that she can make anybody look good. She obviously doesn't know me. I got cast as Paul... a Puerto Rican... haha... here we go again with the spanish. Anyway... I'm shocked. It's a dream role, but I never expected it to happen in real life. A Chorus Line is one of those shows that I always knew I would never be in and I was okay with that.
I'm SO fucking scared/intimidated/excited/every emotion for this show. Almost everybody in the show has been dancing for years and then there is me. Stupid me who everybody is just going to glare at and think "what the fuck is he doing here??" I'm just afraid that once we start dancing tomorrow. The director is going to be kicking himself HARD. I don't want to let anybody down. I just feel like there were probably other more deserving people that should be there instead of me.
I want to do the show because I know it's going to be the greatest challenge of my theatre career thus far. It's going to push me and really test me and allow me to stretch myself as far as possible. When it's all said and done I'm going to be so proud of what I've accomplished. But until that point... I'm going to be in hell for the next 2 months and I'm going to come home from rehearsal crying every night and I'm going to be an emotional wreck and I'm not going to get my homework done and I'm not going to sleep.
Finally... my last point. I want somebody to be there for me throughout this whole thing. I love my roommates and my friends because they are there for me and they do end up hearing all about rehearsals. But I really need a guy. I need somebody who is going to make me feel good about myself. Because it's nice to hear your friends tell you you're not ugly and that you're going to be great... but that's just not the same as having a b/f tell you that. My self confidence is going to go to shit and I'm going to be falling apart and I need somebody to hold me together. ha... god I just sound like the perfect relationship person right now eh? The problem is... I have a person like that in my mind... it's just not in real life. Now I sound like a crazy person. Great. No... nevermind. This is all stupid. Basically what I'm saying... is that I don't want to be single. I don't like gay men though and they generally don't like me. So now what?
Kay... I'm done... wait... one more thing...
I was also supposed to be a part of a reading of True Man: The Musical an original work by the fabulous Nic Dris. It's a musical about the life of Truman Capote. I was THRILLED that he wanted me to be a part of it and really flattered and I want more than anything to be able to do it. But because of A Chorus Line, I don't think that's going to be possible. I hate having to decide between things because it's never easy. I've only had to do this one other time way back in high school and it was which ensemble of which musical should I be in. I've come a long way since then.
I realize I sound like such an annoying bitch whining about how I've been offered 2 great opportunities and whining about Chorus Line when there were other people that wanted it that didn't get in. I'm just stressing out.
P.S. If you actually read this... you deserve a cookie... I don't care if you're on a diet... you'll eat a god damn cookie. Current Mood: melancholy
|Monday, November 6th, 2006|
Um... I just put my foot through a mirror... 7 years of bad luck... great.
Well... yay for having an amazing end to an otherwise shitty weekend.
There is nothing like going out, with the best people in the world, not being TOO drunk... not making bad decisions which means not going home with people I shouldn't go home with and just dancing and having a great time. Seriously... as of this entry... the bad shit that happened this weekend is forgotten. The only thing that shall be remembered is the amazingness that occured tonight. I love the 80's.... kay thanks.